Recently, I finished making a really personal piece of art, and it was (and still is) EXTREMELY hard for me to share. It had poems about my struggles, feelings and shadows, and even when showing close friends of mine, I would get this deep internal sense of dread and anxiety.
The way my emotions were amplified in this period of time forced me to come face to face with some of those insecurities and I realized that without resolving them, I would always be afraid to show my true self - which I believe is the basis for all impactful, free-flowing creativity.
So, when the anxiety was at it’s highest I decided I needed to once again go all in on the inner work - practices around healing, trauma work, mindfulness and personal transformation. I knew I had to take action on sitting with my emotional triggers and rewiring the root cause if I wanted to move forward with creating my dream life.
I noticed was avoiding was feeling bad, and the easiest way to avoid feeling bad is through numbing behaviors. For me this meant scrolling through my phone and various socials, reading Webtoons, and working out. In my past, it looked like overcommitting in relationships and packing my schedule with social events.
No matter what this numbing (and avoidant) behavior looks like for you, unless you let yourself process and understand the negative emotions, the unconscious patterns running your life will be the same. You’ll spend A LOT of time and energy to manage your emotions, instead of getting to the root cause of why your life isn’t why you want it to be, and how you can change.
For years now, I’ve been avoiding doing what I really care about - helping creative people feel whole, empowered, worthy and abundant. Because of that, I was doing activities that I wasn’t aligned with and making business decisions that I didn’t feel ready to (or even want to) make. Which leads me to…
Unless you’re living as your true authentic self, things are not going to feel right and feel very difficult. The root of all burnout comes from us not being honest with ourselves. And sometimes, the things that are the most authentic to you are also the scariest (which is why we have to face our negative emotions to get through them!) Taking the time to evaluate and experiment with what type of lifestyle you want along with the type of work you want to do will be a GAME CHANGER for how you show up in the world.
Even before writing this I had a mini-spiral about if it’s better to write a newsletter and blog, make Youtube videos, make short form content, or start a podcast. It’s insane how we’re conditioned to project so far into the future, and OF COURSE having those kinds of thoughts will lead to feelings of overwhelm and dread.
Everyone starts somewhere, and the people I’ve seen who’ve become successful are the ones who took action even if they didn’t know everything. Even if there was a possibility of failing. Even if it was scary and they weren’t sure they could do it. And it all starts from a half step forward.
Thanks for tuning in this week, and know that I see you, and I’m rooting for you!
-Ai
Listen for courage on taking the first step:
https://alisonjprince.com/podcast/heres-why-the-first-step-is-the-most-important-one-youll-ever-take/
An activity to help you determine your next, authentic step:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1mK8Hts5HA&ab_channel=ElohorEvaAlordiah