The concept of "taking your power back" sounds sexy.
But what does it actually mean and more importantly, how does it improve our lives?
When we let our life circumstances dictate how we feel and act, we’ve given our power away.
The only thing we can really control is how we feel internally.
I was reminded of this again when yesterday, two sudden tragic deaths occurred from trees falling down on a windy day in Bali.
On a less extreme level, you could be hit with a layoff, a random illness, friends group falling apart and breakups.
Shit is gonna hit the fan in life, and if we lose control of how we feel then everything that ripples on outwards is as a byproduct of that internal feeling.
I'll give this example when it comes to career - a boss externally said something to belittle you, and you now have this internal feeling of incompetence or smallness, which then reflects again externally because you become afraid to confidently claim your skills and gifts and go for bigger opportunities.
This is what I mean by life circumstances affecting you…and ultimately how worthy you feel.
Little by little these events and occurrences add up, you get more afraid and more anxious, and you wonder, "WTF is the point of this whole life thing?"
I once did a freelance project that didn’t go too well. There were a lot of last minute challenges and ultimately I left the project without really seeing the end to it.
In that moment, it all felt like my fault. Like I had let the client down. I had a pit in my stomach for weeks because it was the first time i had experienced something like this.
In hindsight - I was already set up for failure. The team was inexperienced, we didn’t have a project manager so our time wasn't managed well, and there was already a very tight deadline.
Even knowing this consciously, there was a subconscious impact of fear that prevented me from going after similar opportunities, even though the circumstances could be totally different if I used my past experience as wisdom to have stronger boundaries in the future.
Often we make it about ourselves, and how we're flawed, instead of things like the circumstances or communication issues.
But this is the real mind fuck and ah-hah moment that struck me:
This event revealed what was ALREADY there - a level of perfectionism, self-doubt, and need for external validation to bolster my own self worth.
It just brought it all up to the surface - where I HAD to address it.
Why? Because I’m calling in big, big dreams and visions which require….pretty delusional levels of self worth.
At least delusional to other people. But to me, this is the new standard I’ve decided I’m going to live at.
Life will give us these crazy events and "unfortunate" circumstances to ask...are you finally ready to take your power back?
To your becoming,
Ai