When you’re calling in something big (ie. new job, relationship, career change, move), you will likely get tested. Today I want to talk about tests that show up as emotional triggers, which may seem less obvious because they usually tie into deep-rooted limiting beliefs and shadows.
Emotional triggers are essentially testing your self worth. They will make you feel small, shameful, guilty or afraid of what you want in order to see if you (and your nervous system) are ready to actually receive what you want. Often, right before your creation comes - perhaps in the form of an opportunity, relationship or raise - you’ll be emotionally triggered to see if you’re really ready to continue taking the necessary actions to reach your goal. Many people give up right here, because the trigger will prod at a deep core wound that will make you want to return to your old, comfortable behavioral patterns.
Recently, I received an emotional test. I was feeling pretty good about the actions I was taking, until I saw something online that deeply triggered me and brought up feelings of fear and insecurity to the point that I didn’t sleep well that night (which is very rare for me). I woke up feeling demotivated and even questioned if I was on the right path.
There’s a term in psychology called extinction bursts. When researchers studied rats who got food as a reward by pressing a button, and then stopped giving them that reward, the rats would actually press the button significantly more for a period of time before that conditioned behavior finally stopped and they would no longer associate getting food from pressing the button. That’s an extinction burst, and your emotional patterns and behaviors will go through the same thing. Once you decide to stop buying into a belief or feeling, triggers may come up as extra strong and intense as an attempt to get you back into the old pattern that will temporarily reward you by feeling more safe. This is the storm before the calm.
Because I was clear about my values and very self-aware of triggers, I was able to move past it and see it as a test of my self worth. I also realized the doubt was my mind’s way of trying to protect me from the emotional fear and trauma from the past that I was then projecting into the future. But this has happened to me where I would just give up because the emotional test was too big and too scary for me to deal with, and my nervous system wasn’t resourced enough to move past it.
I bring all this up because the more awareness you start to have around these tests, triggers, patterns and behaviors, the more clearly you’ll be able to see that…there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. It’s all just past programming that has made you feel a certain way - unworthy and small. With this awareness comes a deep peace that the real limitless you is still there, separate from these negative emotions and limiting beliefs and very much accessible.
All my love,
Ai
This week’s journal prompts: